Oh Noes! Panicked Buchanan Begs McSame to Visit Former GOP-Stronghold of Sarasota

John McCain is having to come to Sarasota -- an area he should be winning handily -- at the behest of soon-to-be defeated Congressman and thug Vern Buchanan.

Said soon-to-be re-elected state representative Keith Fitzgerald: "When McCain is having to spend time shoring up Sarasota, they have a problem on their hands and they know it."

Yeah.

Here's the analysis of failed Sarasota Republican chairman Eric Robinson. Watch for him to be posting his resume around town very, very soon. Maybe he and Vern can go into some sort of corrupt business together that will eventually fail.

Robinson discounted the chances that Sarasota County could fall to Obama. Instead, Robinson said that McCain was coming to Sarasota because the county posted record voter turnout in 2004 and has historically been a Republican stronghold. That year 82 percent of registered voters turned out, 54 percent of them for Bush.

"It's not that we're in play, it's that they need us to balance out the east coast of Florida," Robinson said.

Hey, you can either take the word of the guy that won an election in Sarasota -- and part of Manatee -- in 2006, or you can believe that they need to "balance out" the rest of the state. Yes, that old famous political tactic, "balancing out."

According to Real Clear Politics, Obama is up +2.

FiveThirtyEight has Florida looking mighty blue.

Sure, Eric. Just going for "balance." Whatever you say.

Boy, can you imagine that panicky phone call from thug Vern to McCain?

SOME CHIPPER McCAIN CAMPAIGN WORKER: Good morning, McCain Campaign! Country First!

THUG VERN: Yeah, give me John McCain.

SCMCW: Who may I say is calling?

V: It's Congressman Vern Buchanan. It's urgent.

SCMCW: And may I tell him what's it's regarding, Congr...

V: Goddamit! Get him on the goddam phone! It's a fucking emergency!

SCMCS [startled]: Ye... Yes, sir (sob)... have a blessed day... and remember! Countr...

V: Get him on the goddam phone right now!

SCMCS: (sob!) (transfer's call)

JOHN McCAIN: McCain here.

V: Jesus, John. Thank God. I just talked to Eric at the Sarasota Republican Party H-Q. It's a disaster. A fucking disaster!

JM: Calm down, my friend. What's going on?

V: Jesus, John -- don't Davis and Schmidt show you any polls? We're losing Florida!

JM: My friend, what did you say, my friend?

V: Goddamit. John. Listen to me. We're losing Florida. And it's starting in Sarasota. You've got to get down here.

JM: My friend, I will be down there, my friend, immediately, my friend. People need to hear the truth about Barack Obama, my friend. For example, my friend, did you know, my friend, that he, my friend, is, my friend, a Muslim, my friend? Also, my friend, a, my friend, communist? Also, my friend, a terrorist? And, finally, my friend, he will, my friend, raise your taxes.

V: Senator, you may want to lay off the 'my friend' stuff just a bit. Jesus.

JM: I'm on my way, Vern, my friend. We'll do what we can to shore up Sarasota. But tell Eric, my friend, when he talks to the press that we're doing something like balancing out the rest of the state, my friend.

V: Okay, Senator, will do.

JM: Thank you my friend.

V: [sigh] Thanks, Senator. We'll see you soon. [away from phone] Hey, are those bundled checks still coming in? [hangup]

Fin

We can take Florida. And it will, in fact, start in Sarasota. Two more weeks.

Thug Vern and Empty Chair Chair Charlie Have a Very Bad Rally

When it rains it pours.

First, the Democratic Party of Florida is asking the FBI to investigate Vern's criminal misdeeds.

And now Empty Chair Charlie was supposed to come down for a Vern Rally -- and he was a no show! Boy, when Charlie Crist abandons Floridians, he really abandons Floridians.

They blamed it on the weather.

From Jeremy Wallace's blog:

Because of bad weather conditions in both Tallahassee and Sarasota, Crist never made it to the nearly two-hour-long rally to help Buchanan, R-Longboat Key, raise money for his re-election campaign.

Instead, when it came time to introduce Crist around 6:30 p.m., Sarasota County Republican Party chairman Eric Robinson held up a cell phone to a microphone in which Crist tried to speak to the hot, sweating crowd that had gathered in the un-air conditioned hanger at Dolphin Aviation.

[snip]

For most of the about 300-person crowd, whatever the governor said was inaudible as Robinson struggled to position the phone at the microphone so everyone could hear the governor.

[snip]

After about 2 minutes of the cell phone being held to the microphone, Buchanan realized most of the crowd still wasn’t hearing the speech. With people heading of the exits, Buchanan stepped in and pushed the phone aside while it sounded like Crist was still trying to say something.

“How’s everyone doing tonight,” Buchanan said yelled into the mike.

Not good, Vern. Not good.